Can I get a force field?

I wish I could get a force field so that the complaints and mean things that people mutter under their breaths while waiting in line wouldn't bother me or penetrate my happy bubble.

I understand we're grumpy. But why do you have to ruin someone else's day, too?

:(

Happy Birthday surprise!

Thank you all for all the birthday wishes! :)

I got to go see Aladdin: A Merry Family Musical for my birthday. It was soooooooo funny, although some of the humour was geared to the adults (re: "Treasure tramps" and "menage a trois"...not explaining those to my small children!). And Bret "The Hitman" Hart? Very...large, wrestler-like Genie. Very...hmm.....large-giant-like. But funny, nonetheless. :)

Thanks for taking me, Kev!

Gah, cannot believe I'm a 1/4-century OLD!



P.S. Priceless quote from Nakz: "I like studying...it makes me feel better about myself." AHahahaha, nerdy nerd!

Choosing my attitude.

Oh, James MacDonald, you brilliant but challenging speaker.

I hate choosing my attitude. No, wait, scratch that, I like to choosing the attitude that comes most naturally to me in the given moment. But, I hate the nagging voice in the back of my head that sounds eerily like James MacDonald that says, "Choose your attitude." Basically, that means, you have the wrong attitude, so choose the right one.

It's hard, okay?

Sometimes I just want to scream and snap at others and be mean. Sometimes I'm just driven to non-Holy-Spirit-filledness. Especially lately. Sometimes I wonder whether it's a good challenge for me to remain in a situation with others who really irk me, or whether it would just be better to avoid situations that are going to make me cranky. I've been trying to conflict resolve, which means using my, "I feel _____________ when you ___________" statements, but changing actions is hard when they are ingrained. And I know, really, I need to worry about the plank in my own eye before the speck in others'.

Oh, just pray for me, guys. Work is stressing me ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuut!

Lord, help me choose the right attitude, and help me not to conform to the patterns of this world, but to be renewed by YOU.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:13

Wickedly Wicked

"It's good to see me, isn't it?

No need to respond, that question was rhetorical." - Galinda (with a "Gah")



Ahahahahaha, I can't believe how funny, touching, and thought-provoking this musical was! And it was so brilliant in how it incorporated references to the Wizard of Oz movie! Ridiculously good.

And the made-up words! I LOVE made-up words!
"Rejoicify"
"Innuendo...outuendo"
"Scandalacious" (I just used scandalacious in a phone conversation!)
"Festivations"
"Swankified"
"Confusifying" (are all these words confusifying?)
"Hideodeous" as in, "My granny is always giving me the most hideodeous hats. I'd give it away, but I don't hate anyone that much."
"Now wait just a clock tick!"
"We can't all come and go by bubble."

And the best part? My date! Thanks for coming with me, Kevin! :)

Go watch Wicked!

The spiritual side...

One of the things about being back in easy North American society is that I forget the spiritual undercurrents of everything. Any decision I make, any action I take...they all have some spiritual aspect to them. I've been thinking about this recently because the youth have been on my heart, and because I know they face difficult decisions everyday that DO have spiritual ramifications, whether they know it or not.

A quote I read in someone's testimony really stayed with me. He said, "Although I am now fulfilled in having assurance of everlasting life, I regret giving the best years of my life to Satan. I regret embracing sin and insecurity. Though it might be fashionable to say 'I do not regret anything because I am who I am because of my past mistakes,' I would disagree. I believe Jesus Christ was sufficient to save me. My unwholesome experiences contributed only to the problem, not the solution. If only I had enough humility to listen to the 'great cloud of witnesses' earlier in life."

I forget that as much as God wants us to succeed, Satan wants us to fail. BUT, knowing I have power through His Holy Spirit to resist Satan's evil is reassuring.

"Satan knows full well that God wants to present His Son with a pure, spotless, virgin bride, so he's doing everything he can to defile her. What he doesn't seem to 'get' is that he cannot touch or taint the Spirit of Christ in us, which is what ultimately gives us our pure standing before God."
- Beth Moore, When Godly People Do Ungodly Things

Fight the good fight, brothers and sisters!

It's time to clean the gutters when...

Today, I cleaned out the rain gutters. Actually, I cleaned out one part and then my sister went on the roof to make quick work of the rest.

How do you know when it's time to clean your gutters?
1. When you see leaves sticking up over the sides.
2. When the rain that should be going down the drain pours over the sides of the gutters.
3. When there are plants GROWING in your gutters.

Yes, we had all of the above. My sister discovered a PLANT growing in part of the gutter. But a plant needs soil to grow! Yes, indeed it does, and apparently, when you haven't cleaned the gutters in a REAAAAAALLY long time, the leaves decompose and form a really great soil/mulch, which is apparently very ideal for the particular plant we found.

Oh the shame! Ahahahahahaha. So, here's to more gutter cleaning in the future. Ahahahaha. We shall be the home for gutter plants no longer!

Restaurant job = less social life

Being a server cuts down my social hours. I mean, really, I work when every other person who works has their break. Lunchtime? Working. Dinner? Working. After? Still working.

I'm thankful to have a job in an environment that's easy to work in. I just wish restaurant hours were different, and that I could still have more of a social life during the week. It's also hard because my most productive work hours are at night, but I come home at 11pm or midnight now, which means ummm...ahahaha, no productive hours in my days, ahahahahaha. I wonder how I get things done.

ANd NOW, my mom is in Japan for 10 days. Gah! I'm not exactly sure how we'll survive, even though she left us LOTS of food. The one good thing is that it will force me to clean out our over-stuffed fridge, which means the rotting food that is hiding in the crevices of our refrigerator will meet their ends.

Take that, you moldy cabbage!


Oh, and I decided I should give wedding planning updates on here. So far, we have booked a venue, talked to our Pastors about being in our service, booked the photographer and planned our invitations (somewhat...the Star Trek theme is apparently still in debate, ahahaha) ;) ....next big thing: FIND A DRESS! Gack!

On a further rant-y sidenote, I had my first experience with Star Trek today. I mean, besides the 10 min. clip I saw in gr. 5 for our space unit. Anyway, I saw "First Contact" and...........I'm not sure how I feel about this yet, but.... I rather liked the movie.

Gah.

I know.

I think.......
I might.......
like Star Trek?!?!?!?!

This is a whole new....universe.....ahahahahahah. Oooh, I think that might have been a corny attempt at a pun, and I think it may be the negative side effects of watching the movie. AHahahha. Okay, but seriously. I did like it. Thanks for introducing me to the ST empire, Kev!

Just give me another couple weeks to get used to the idea that I like it. Sigh.

The shame of not posting in a billion years.

Yes, I have become one of them. Those that have a blog but never post, even after repeated houndings by others more obsessed with blogging.

The shame!

AHahaha, okay, I'm over it.

I'll break the silence with an update:
1) I'm not married yet, but have set a date (Sept 23, 2007, save the date!)
2) I'm waitressing at Bangkok Villa by Vaughn Mills (it has the yummiest food ever and I'm not just saying that because I work there!)
3) I'm also teaching Art4Tots (a mom and tots art class) at the McMichael Canadian Art Collection on Thursdays, and also a Saturday morning art class for 8-10 yr-olds. So fun!
4) I'm doing my missions presentation at church this coming Sunday (pray for me!)
5) I have discovered that the mall near my house is hiring once again for seasonal gift wrapping which makes me so stupidly deliriously excited to apply (visions of wrapping paper and ribbons floating in my head).
6) I get to see my dentist on Saturday (the first time in OVER A YEAR!!), and I could just be more excited than I was for #5.
7) I have become a Firefly fan. And a Serenity fan. But that doesn't mean I love all science fiction. Okay? Okay.
8) I have been spending ridiculous amounts of time with Kevin, YAY!
9) Still writing blog posts at ridiculous hours of the night.

I should think of one more to make it an even 10 but I'm too tired.

I will end off with the funniest situation I heard on the radio (it's a child questioning his father)...

Child: Dad, which are more complicated: males or females?
Dad: I guess I would say females.
C: Why?
D: I would say because of their ability to reproduce (and as Kevin would say, because their endocrine systems are more complicated, ahahaha).
C: So then who would theoretically have taken longer to evolve?
D: The females.

Dun dun duuuun. Do you get it? I thought it was great! Boo-yah, evolutionists mevolutionists.

Animals in God's will

Countdown to reunion: 21 days till my hun comes home!!!!!!

Congrats to Carol and Will on their engagement! :) Will next year be a crazy wedding summer? :)

I have a couple animal observations to share with you today. The first came during my visit with my Japanese Pastor and his wife. They are AMAZING people and I was so blessed during our meal together, but the most surprising part came right before the meal when they fed their dog, Naru. Naru waits patiently as his dad puts his food in the dog dish, and he waits while his dad says grace! Yes, the Pastor prays with Naru before Naru eats, and Naru doesn't make a move until after the "Amen". I know, I know, Naru probably has no idea what the Pastor is saying, but it was one of the most touching animal moments I've seen. A dog saying grace before dinner.

*********

My cat came to join me during my quiet time today, and it led me to think about how animals are so much in God's will. They do exactly what they were designed to do! He must have such joy in His creation as they purr, leap, snuggle, shed, eat, sleep, pounce, sleep some more... That I would have such obedience to God's will in my life!

Wisdom of the ages

When Kevin and I started our relationship, we decided to seek out another more experienced couple to mentor us. I am SO thankful that we have their input into our lives!!! It is so challenging to have their wise advice, to ask them questions, and to have them ask US the tough questions.

Could we survive without the accountability? Maybe.

Would it be a good idea? Nope.

Because of our pride, it's easy to think we've got it figured out, or that we will figure it out on our own. I am so thankful that God has humbled us to ask for accountability! Even as we talked about getting engaged, we discussed it with our mentor couple who told us about their engagement and convictions leading to their decision. I think that God definitely uses other people to speak to us, and I know He is using this couple to speak truth into our relationship, to keep us grounded in His Word, His Truth, His Love.

Thanks for mentors who take the time to speak into my life!

P.S. Another reason why accountability in any area is good was expressed well by my friend Darren (I'm paraphrasing). He said, "I'm not going to be stupid enough to give myself the benefit of the doubt." It's true. Giving myself the benefit of the doubt has led to many a stupid decision on my part, and seeking accountability from other people you respect (who will love you enough to challenge you, even at the risk of you throwing things at them) lessens the probability of a stupid decision occurring. And believe me, any decrease of stupidity is a good decrease! ;)

S-car-goooo!

I had a yummy yummy dinner this past Thursday night at Boho in the T.Dot (for Summerlicious). The particularly tasty treat was the appetizer. Escargots in a phyllo pastry cup. YUMM! My first s-car-go experience, and it was fantastic. I got to share it with another particularly tasty treat, Nancy, AHAHAHAHAH. But seriously, try escargots. They are DELISH!

In more news, our '88 Honda is dying awwwww, so we're looking at getting a Honda Fit to replace it. Honda Fits are so cute! And of course, the most important question is, "What colours do they come in?" Ahahahaha. Not sure when we'll actually go and buy it, but I'm excited for all the foldy-chair-ness!

And right now, we're in the middle of a crazy storm. I just looked out the window, and it is amazing to see the wind whipping these trees. It was such a great reminder of God's power. And to think that He can calm the storm, just as easily as He can start it. Wow. Thunderstorms for God's glory. Wow.

Enouraging quote

As we were debriefing about the year overseas, someone gave me this quote and I really enjoyed it.

"If God calls you to be a missionary, don't stoop to be a king." - C.T. Studd

Space cadet

According to my sister, my behaviour lately has been "space cadet-y". I totally agree. I'm SO out of it. I could blame it on jet lag (I'm not feeling QUITE as awake as I should), but it's also because I completely forget so many things about Canadian culture and find myself just observing and spacing out!

In Re-Entry by Peter Jordan, he says,

What are some of the signs of reverse culture shock? One is feeling "out of place," as though you are a spectator watching from afar. You don't really fit in with what is going on around you. While everyone else seems to be sure of their social position, you seem to hang out at the edges, wanting to paricipate fully, but not being quite able to.

Exactly. I'm SO out of it. I feel like the world runs on around me, but I'm not fully part of it yet. I think I'm going to need to keep adjusting. Gah!

The workout today helped! It is SO MUCH EASIER TO RUN HERE! I think my lungs are super-efficient with ALL the oxygen, because they were so deprived before. I haven't run in almost a year, but today was okay! And then I watched Superman Returns. Suprisingly good! It was good to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend.

Tomorrow, the cleaning, purging, throwing away continues, and it's craft time to assemble gifts!

War veterans...

I met with a dear friend of mine, my first discipler, in B.C. and she spewed so much wisdom as I told her about readjusting to the Canadian culture. There was one thing she said that stood out to me especially, and that was that returning missionaries are like war veterans. When war veterans come home, they realize so much has changed in their home culture and they often have trouble readjusting, finding new jobs, and re-acquainting themselves with old friends. She said returning from the missions field is similar, because we've been fighting a spiritual battle. War veterans have organizations that help them re-adjust to the culture, and it's important for us to find a support network, too.

So how do I feel? In some ways, it's back to normal. Slowly, things are starting to come back...how to do a load of laundry, doing dishes in 2 HUGE sinks (bye-bye small Asia sink!), driving in Toronto, petting my cat.

I think the problem will be taking time to spend with God. Already, I'm trying to adjust by to-do-ing everything, putting tasks on a list that I'll check off once I've finished them (it's control-freak syndrome!). One thing that's not on my task list? Re-adjusting to culture. Is it a mistake to assume that that will happen naturally? Probably.

If you talk to me this week, can you ask me if I've taken time off to start processing this past year? Ask me if I've spent some good time with my Father. Thanks for all your support, friends! :)

"Home"?

I was born in Canada and raised in Canada for 23 years. Shouldn't I know what it's all about??

Apparently not. I'm experiencing culture shock to the max. Flushing toilet paper?? I can do that?? Grass! There are lawns! Clean air...skies that are grey because they're cloudy, not because they're smoggy! People drive normally! There are lanes and people obey the laws! And...the Blue Jays are actually doing well! I know! Gasp!

And so the adjustment continues.

P.S. Drove for the first time in 11 months today! After not buckling a single seatbelt in 11 months (including once in Vancouver, oops), I got into the car and my arm reached over to buckle it in. Automatic! Good thing some things don't change.

Multiplying WHAT?

I met with one of the girls I’ve discipled over the year for the last time today. It was bittersweet. There was a hilarious moment, however, when she talked about my influence on her. She talked about how I had influenced her in many ways, and how her friends said that she was becoming more like me in every way….especially with messy hair!!!! Gah! I looked at her and smoothed my (messy) hair and laughed while gasping about what a horrendous thing that was to multiply. Ahahahahaha.

Note to self: comb hair once in a while.

Quotes from the weekend

"Eating donkey must be good for your skin. You don't see any donkeys with bad skin, do you?" K-man

"Sharing the gospel was my hobby, but now it's my major." -Fireseed


And for the cheesiness factor:
In response to the question posed by Tim-tam ("If you had to torture a farm animal for information, which farm animal would you choose?")

"A pig, because it would squeal."
"A cow, because you could milk it for information."
Hmmm...and the others seem to have slipped my mind. Believe me when I say it was 5 minutes of pure cheese while we spewed these babies out.

This is my blog post... This is my blog post

So D.Lu bought a Mika Nakashima CD, and I decided I really liked her.

And then I decided to check out some of her music videos on You Tube. Bad idea.

Check out Mika Nakashima's home video. It is ridiculously ridiculous.

Basically, she's showing us around her old house...
"This is the toilet....................this is the toilet. Tooooooilet!"
"This is the entryway..................this is the entryway"

Only she might as well be saying, "This is my big head in the wayof everything"!!!!!!!!!!! It's so ridiculous! It's funny that it's a video about her house, but you can't really see her house.

My keen observations:
Mika is SCARY without make-up.
Why does she repeat everything TWICE?
She has interesting taste in lamps. It's a seashell lamp.
Her BOSS drives her around?!?!?!
Her friend Emi does look like her twin.
I wish she wouldn't just talk in monotone. She can sing...but the speaking....Mika has no personality. Sigh. But she has such a great voice!

Serves me right for checking out ridiculous J-pop home videos. Noooo more.

But I love Mika's rendition of Amazing Grace!

Mini Mono?

I have had chronic fatigue for the last 2 weeks. What in the world is wrong with me? I go to bed and get at least 7 hours of sleep (usually closer to 8hrs), and I wake up tired. I haven't felt completely clear-headed in a while. WHAT is going ON?!?!

(Gasp, the thought just occurred to me that I might just have symptoms of OLD AGE!) Ahahaha. But honestly, I wish I could figure it out. Maybe it's the changing weather? The rain here has been ridiculous lately. The streets were flooded outside our apartment, and on the other side by the door, we couldn't even get out because the sewers decided they would stay clogged during the biggest rainfall here this year! Some of the sewage actually started to seep up slightly! Gah! The rain has also rusted my bike horrendously, but it still works, and I think there's less chance of it getting stolen now. :)

Tomorrow's my rest day, so I'm going to meet my favourite friend with the initials MO! I know, what a coincidence, the SAME initials?! She's so great! We're going shopping, and I'll hopfully buy some fabric to get a couple of shirts copied. They are AMAZING at copying shirts here.

I'll be going to the fabric market to buy the fabric...It's funny because you buy everything here at a market. The antique market. The plant market. The fabric market. Jewellery street. There's no store that carries it all. Ah, how I miss Wal-mart! Actually, we have a Wal-mart here but it's more like a grocery store.

Less than one month till I hit the ground in Canada.

GAH!

(We just discussed today how we'll probably spend the first couple of minutes at Vancouver airport gaping open-mouthed at the multicultural-ness of Canada! "Wow, foreigners!")

Pondering vocation as a service to Christ - John Piper

Things come together in beneficial ways.

I've been reading through John Piper's Taste and See.
I've also been praying about what in the WORLD I'm doing next year.

Then, these two activities intersected in Piper's book. He says,

"I don't want my people to simply drift into a job or coast along in it with little sense of calling or significance for the supremacy of God in what they do."

I think this is what I've been struggling with. It's hard for me to think of a job I can do for next year that I think has significance, that allows God to be supreme in my life. I know I want to do all I can to further God's kingdom, and it's hard for me to think that something like supply teaching is truly strategic in doing that. It's hard for me to avoid the mentality that next year is a limbo year, before I decide what to REALLY do with my life. I know I need to live in the present and go hard in the present...but what does that mean about the job I should apply for for next year?!

So while I ponder what God really wants me to do next year, I have started applying to the Ontario College of Teachers to start the supply-teaching application process. I feel like I haven't submitted this decision enough to Him, so I'm going to keep praying for His will. This decision makes sense...but sometimes He asks us to do things that don't make sense. I'm praying for confirmation of what His will is. All I can say for sure right now is, thank goodness He will never leave nor forsake us!

Meanwhile, Piper gives good guidance to finding a job. Piper asks these questions (and refers to the ultimate authority, the Bible!):

1) Can I earnestly do all the parts of this job "to the glory of God," that is, in a way that highlights his superior value over all other things? (1 Corinthians 10:31)
2) Is taking this job part of a strategy to grow in personal holiness? (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
3) Will this job help or hinder my progress in esteeming the value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord? (Philippians 3:8)
4) Will this job result in inappropriate pressures to think or feel or act against my King, Jesus? (1 Corinthians 7:23)
5) Will this job help establish an overall life pattern that will yield a significant involvement in fulfilling God's great purpose of exalting Christ among all the unreached peoples of the world? (Matthew 28:18-20)
6) Will this job be worthy of my best energies? (Ecclesiastes 9:10)
7) Will the activities and environment of this job tend to shape me, or will I be able to shape it for the Christ-magnifying purposes of God? (Romans 12:2)
8) Will this job provide an occasion for me to be radically Christian so as to let my light shine for my Father's sake, or will my participation in the vision of the firm tend to snuff out my wick? (Matthew 5:16)
9) Does the aim of this job cohere with a growing intensity in my life to be radically, publicly, fruitfully devoted to Christ at any cost? (Mark 8:34)
10) Will the job feel like a good investment of my life when this vapour's breath of preparation for eternity is over? (James 4:14)
11) Does this job fit with why I believe I was create and purchased by Christ? (1 Corinthians 6:20)
12) Does this job fit together with the ultimate truth that all things exist for Christ? (Colossians 1:16)

High standards, and so they should be.

Here's back to praying and waiting on Him.

You tube afternoon

So ever since discovering You Tube, I have been watching a ridiculous number of music videos. But not even whole ones. Why? Because I find J-pop ones booooooooooring! Ayumi, Namie and Utada...they can sing (or well, Namie and Utada can), but their videos are soooooooo boring. And D.Lu, you're right, Namie kinda slithers!

Sigh, even Lindsay Lohan has more exciting videos than these j-pop sisters. But maybe it's because there are still undiscovered AMAZING j-pop videos out there!

Thus, the You-Tube-ing continues!

A new take on empowering women...

"Recently I’ve been contemplating what would happen if the women of America united behind a few basic family principles. We shouldn’t underestimate the power of a woman, and especially the power of women united. I challenge the women of America to lock arms, and united, say to men:
“No marriage, no sex.” Imagine the overnight cultural change if every women said, “I will not be intimate with any man unless and until he makes a legal, binding, lifelong commitment to me.” In other words, “Unless you marry me, you won’t sleep with me.” What would happen if women united and refused to have sex with men who had run around in their teen years or had left their first wives? Women, you have the power to civilize men."

Whoa. Strong words, but it makes you think about God's plan. No sex without marriage and there wouldn't be rampant STDs, as many abortions, infidelity...wow. Women Unite!

You are Everything...

It's funny how so many love songs have been written! I remember in my boy-crazy high school days how I would listen to Boyz II Men or some other RnB band crooning about love, attraction, being enamored, mutual love, unrequited love...love love love. I'd sit there listening to the songs and admittedly, dreaming about a future boy in my life. How much energy and time were consumed with listening to these songs!

As I sit listening to another love song, I realize how much these lyrics still capture my feelings. But this time, it's not some human I think about...it's something much bigger, much better...Someone majestic.

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

-Lifehouse

Jesus said, "When he looks at me, he sees the one who sent me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness." - John 12:45, 46

How big is He?

"But if you believe in a small God who is no bigger than you are, you are not going to place much faith in Him. Nor will you be motivated to love, trust, and obey Him." - Bill Bright, The Coming Revival

Do I live as if I believe in God? Do I live as if I believe He is the Creator of the Universe, all-knowing, all-powerful and mighty? Do I believe in a God who is infinitely greater than me?

If I was truly living as a child of the living God, shouldn't that be reflected in my life?

Forgive me for lacking passion for You, for You are the only One who truly deserves all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,

their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;

he puts the deep into storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the LORD;

let all the people of the world rever him.

For he spoke, and it came to be;

he commanded, and it stood firm.

The LORD foils the plans of the nations;

he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,

the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Psalm 33:6-11

Brain fart

Yesterday in the taxi, I turned to Darren and said, "Am I 25 yrs old?"

I was serious, I couldn't remember, but my thought was that if I was 25, that I needed to freak out.

Then Darren told me I'm not. Safe for another 8 months!

Note to self: Remember own age.

Celebrate hope

Sing a song of celebration
Lift up a shout of praise
For the Bridegroom will come
The glorious One

And oh, we will look on His face
We’ll go to a much better place
Dance with all your might
Lift up your hands and clap for joy
The time’s drawing near
When He will appear

And oh, we will stand by His side
A strong, pure, spotless bride
We will dance on the streets that are golden
The glorious bride and the great Son of man
From every tongue and tribe and nation
Will join in the song of the Lamb

Sing aloud for the time of rejoicing is near
The risen King, our groom, is soon to appear
The wedding feast to come is now near at hand
Lift up your voice, proclaim the coming Lamb

- David Ruis

I'm only slightly nerdy!

That's right. Only "lightly nerdy".

Apparently, I'm "Somewhat nerdy. I mean face it, you are nerdier than about half the test takers."

But nerdiness does not necessarily mean smart. Sigh.

TWO MONTHS?!?!?

A shocker...there are 9 weeks before I come back! NINE WEEKS!!! That's only a little over TWO MONTHS! WHERE did all this time go?!

In some ways, it'll be nice to get back to fresh air and clean laundry, but it will be so sad to leave my friends here. These past few weeks, I've had so many conversations with students about spiritual things, shared the gospel with many of them, heard stories of God completely changing people's lives, and seen God's Spirit really working in the hearts and minds of these students. It has been amazing to witness firsthand what He is doing in the world!

These next 2 months will be a challenge in really living in the present, but preparing to go back.

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." - James 4:13-15

As a sidenote, I've realized that I've started a lot of posts and never finished them. In my stockpile? The lastest one was about the resurrection of Jesus Christ and why the resurrection is the most logical explanation. It's so fun to talk about, but too long to type, so alac and alas, maybe next Easter.

As another sidenote, I love talking with all you ppl on your Sunday nights, my Monday mornings! :) Go hard with the QTs, Rach and Amanda!

Fob-a-licious

Not only are we fun, but we're also HOT. Ahahahahaha.

Edit: There was a really hot picture of us here but I've taken it off. It really proved how hot we were, and it made you appreciate the utter gawdiness of D.Lu's shirt clashing with the background. We tried to stop him, but he bought the most flowery shirt in Asia anyway.

Disappointment with God

This huge lawsuit situation ended last month in tears and a huge letdown. I had been praying for so long that I wouldn't have to pay the $1400 this woman was unfairly suing me for (I didn't cause her injuries!), but the way the court system works over here is quite different from in Canada. The police have more authority than the courts, so if the police have submitted something as evidence, the judge accepts it (even if it's random pictures of scratches on a bike, my bike, that could have been from ANYTHING!!!!!!). It was amazing to have such peace during the trial and to know that the judge could probably tell who was telling the truth (telling lies will trap you in those lies), but in the end, I still had to pay.

So I ask, where in the world was God in all this? He's a fair God, perfectly just....so WHERE was the justice?? This past month, I've been trying to process this. I know that God is just, and that at the end of it all, everything works out fairly. But I want life to be fair RIGHT NOW. What it comes down to is that I felt hurt by God because I felt He was silent. I felt like He didn't do a thing, didn't lift a finger to help a girl out, to tip the scales in favour of TRUTH.

But was He really silent? Philip Yancey asks the question in his book, Disappointment with God. "Is God silent? I answer that question with another question: Is the church silent?" He asks that question because God now chooses to use fallible Christians, human beings, to do His will on earth. So if God decided to speak out in my situation, to say a little something, He would use the church, other Christians.

Is God silent?

Nope. No siree. Nooooo way. Over the months of worrying over the outcome of this situation, I have never ever ever felt so supported and loved by my church and friends. They were not silent. God was not silent.

And the most humbling thing of all, after days of crying out to God in tears, asking why he let this happen, He answered in a big way. He worked in the hearts of men, in the hearts of the people at my organization, to pay my legal bill. I didn't have to pay a cent of the lawsuit. He spoke loud and clear through the people in His church. Thank you all.

Nothing like a little humble pie to make you feel like a whiney child.

So is God silent?

No. Because the church was not.

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." - Ephesians 4:15, 16

Pictures from vacation in tropical paradise

After finally getting out of the country, I had an awesome vacation. I'll let the pictures do the talking.



Sunset....





Lounging by the pool. Read a whole John Grisham novel!

These ppl have too much time!



These are the pretty shoes that Kevin got me! :)

No freedom...no rights

So on Jan. 19, 2006, I tried to leave the country on vacation. I have never been stopped at customs before, but there's a first time for everything. It was scary; they searched through my stuff.

And so, it continues…I’m still here, I still have this lawsuit hanging over my head, can’t get out of the country, can’t see my family, can’t see my fiancée.

But, looking at the big picture, it could be worse. And, it made me realize how much less freedom the people in this country have. I mean, they're restricted from doing so many things, and on the spiritual level, most of these people don't have freedom. I can take comfort that I have an eternal hope, that there is a loving God who delights in doing His people good, who has a perfect and wonderful plan for my life, and that even before there was a problem, a solution was on the way.

I'm praying for a speedy resolution to this problem, and that my heart won't be hardened towards this country. I keep reminding myself that there is corruption and unfair treatment anywhere, even in a country like Canada, and I can't just hold a grudge against this country in particular...and I need to remember not to stereotype all the people here. It's hard.




THat the world would know Christ and be transformed.



Sigh.

Fun quotes from the group

We have a little quote book going on over here to record memorable things that have been said over the year. So far, D.Lu and Kaix are way in the lead with a bazhillion quotes. Here are a few of the more memorable:

I could date a girl for 3 months and then elope. - Suave D.Lu
If this were real life, I'd hire a hitman to take you out. - D.Lu, playing president/janitor the card game
You know what keeps me up is organizational structures. D.Lu (obviously an uber-nerd)
Glitter was ahead of it's time. - Mariah Carey (I just put this in because we all agree it's a great quote, not because I actually heard her say it or anything)
I'd like to say right now that I feel like you should all sacrifice your lives for me because you've lived longer. - D.Lu
There are some pretty hot 70-year-olds. - D.Lu (Edit: D.Lu keeps complaining about being mis-represented, so I will now give you the context for the quote. He was talking about Sarah from the Bible. Okay? Okay. Because all the Pharoahs were after her. So she was obviously hot. So obviously there could be some hot 70 year olds.)

Sorry, so I guess D.Lu actually dominated the funny quote section. The others are apparently very un-amusing in what we say. So that's a smattering of life over here in Asia.

Oh, and my fast is done today, so street meat, here I come!

More random thoughts...

In continuing my little rant on people viewing God as a blessing dispenser, I think the problem is when we ask God for things that we want more than God. It's okay to ask for things, and He wants us to ask Him for all our needs, but if we want those things more than we want to know God, more than we want to seek God, then there's a problem.

“You praised the gods of silver and gold, of bronze, iron, wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or understand. But you did not honor the God who holds in his hand your life and all your ways.” - Daniel 5:23

This is materialism…worshipping gods of wealth, fame, success. And yet, we ignore the God who holds in his hands our LIVES. Forgive me for being distracted by anything other than you, the God of the universe, who created me and has a wonderful plan for my life. Forgive me for thinking that I know better.

Will you hesitate?

"...I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. Now I know that none of you among whom I have gone about preaching the kingdom will ever see me again. Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of all men. For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God." - Paul, in Acts 20:24-27

Paul boldly declared his innocence of shedding any blood. At the end of it all, will I be able to say the same thing? Will you?

How do you summarize the last few months?

Well, seeing as Amanda even broke her allegiance to xanga to comment on my blog that has sadly remained unupdated for eleventy billion months, here it is.

How do I summarize the craziness of the last few months?

1) I got engaged!!! By God's grace, I found him right in front of me! I love you, Kevin. No wedding date yet, plenty of time for you all to suggest the perfect dress, food, flowers, etc.
2) I got a lawyer to handle my horrendous bicycle case. My frustration with this is lessening, but it's definitely something I need to give up to God everyday.
3) I dressed up as a bird for our halloween party and proceeded to kick another Canadian guy's butt at fishing chocolate balls out of ketchup with my mouth. It was DISGUSTING. It was made even more disgusting by the fact that someone MAY have taken some of the chocolate balls that my competitor had already fished out of his ketchup plate and put them into my ketchup. Blech. I proceeded to fish those out too, without knowing. But, in retrospect, not such a big deal in a country where most of the eating is done communally.
4) I had yumsy food for my birthday dinner. We FINALLY hit up TGIFridays and I had some delish ribs.
5) Kevin came to visit and we had an amazing time. He ate something that makes me a little upset, but I'll forgive him. And no, it's not dog. Too bad, because it's tasty. ;)
6) I finally did shopping for myself and bought a pair of Miss Sixty knockoffs, which proceeded to lose their button as soon as I got home. Sigh. Knockoffs.
7) Watched NHK and realized how much much much I am missing authentic Japanese food. The fish looks...well, fishy, here. Probably not a good idea to eat it.
8) I fasted for 10 days and had the most intimate encounters with God that I've ever had. I definitely encourage everyone to do it.

I wish I could sum up everything I've been learning in a blog entry, but that wouldn't do it justice. I will say that He is everything good, everything beautiful, everything wise, everything patient...He IS everything to me.

One thing that's frustrating me right now: The idea of God as a good-luck charm or wish/blessing dispenser. He's not there for us to use whenever we feel like we need Him. He is so much more than that. You're not a Christian just because you believe in God. Even the demons believe in God. You're a Christian because you FOLLOW God, and you can see the fruit of that in your life.

Maybe I'll start updating more.

Maybe.