Another sunrise in Tortham sees continued peace and quiet, with the fashion world dozing in a assured slumber, knowing their village was safe in the hands of the capable Metro Man. After escaping from the evil clutches of Scary Pirate man and saving the beloved BB sign, Metro Man's credentials were firmly established in the hearts of the Torthamians. Torthammers? Hm.
But just as any trendy fashionista knows, along with the new shows during Fashion week comes change of a lesser fashion.
A dark figure emerged from the shadows of a Tortham bungalow. She looked like any other average Torthammer, with one exception...to the naked eye, she was ordinary, but to Metro Man's trained colour-contacted eye, she was a walking fashion disaster waiting to take down the rest of the world into the pits of fashion despair.
Metro Man was awakened from his slumber as the FD (Fashion Disaster) stepped onto the sidewalk in a pair of...gasp, penny loafers, complete with real pennies. AND she was wearing white after labour day! His fashion-sense was tingling and he flew into action. Calling his loyal campadres, the Knitting Knave and the Proofer, he leaped into carefully coiffed action.
The TAATT (Tremendously Above Average Torthamian Trio) jumped into the Metro-mobile, and Metro Man crooned stylishly along to the sounds of The Best in Boy Bands...
As they contemplated the capture of the FD, Metro Man's heart was saddened...He realized that it wouldn't be fair to capture the FD and lock her away in FD isolation. There must be some other way...there must be something else they could do...
As Metro Man's thoughts wandered back to his vacation in
,and his days beside sparkling waters 
and colourful tropical flora, he had a brilliant idea! He could save this white-after-Labour-Day-disaster! He just needed one thing...As quickly as you could say "Sale at the Lancome counter", the trio was off to the Royal Botanical Gardens. On the way, they picked up Krazy Karl and Smiley Sam, 2/5 of the Stupendously Stupendous Fashion Quintet (SSFQ).
{Smiley Sam had been recruited by the Knitting Knave after bonding over quilted jackets and capturing fish at Gardening Camp in '04, back when quilted jackets were all the rage,
while the TAATT had spotted Krazy Karl's telling-time-by-the-sun-skills while he was still a member of the OTHER TAATT, or the Tremendously Above Average Time Tellers.
They didn't think it was any coincidence he happened to be a part of a superhero group with the SAME acronym, so they quickly recruited him}
The SSFQ were now complete! The newcomers and Metro Man posed for a quick picture to add to their superhero portfolios, and they were on their way.
(notice the perfected Blue Steel expressions)Suddenly, the sounds of peaceful snoring arose from the deep corners of the Metro-mobile...gasp!
The Knitting Knave and Proofer had been taken out by a Powerful Peaceful Slumber Pill (PPSP, for short). They would be out of commission for the day. Better to leave them in the car, lest they warn the FD of the imminent danger via their nasal snoring.
As the three approached the heavily guarded Royal Botanical Gardens, they noticed the first in a series of security measures...
Smiley Sam, like The Proofer, had a penchant for shiny, brightly coloured objects and was quickly confounded by the colourful booby trap at the front gate.
Krazy Karl, on the other hand, was taken aback by the fleet of security henchmen poised to strike...
Not one to lose his wits so easily, Metro Man quickly rescued the two from their frozen stupors and snuck onto the grounds. Along the way, the brilliant Smiley Sam picked up a disguise to pose as a Rich Lady With Too Much Time to Look At Flowers.
She blended in well.
As they sashayed their way through the gardens, the scent of various pansies and roses was overtaken by the scent of something much more appetizing. Immediately, 3/5 of SSFQ decided on a lunch break and sat down to gorge.
One cannot operate at full superhero power on an empty stomach.
As the last french fry hit the perfect pout of Metro Man, the three moved into action.
"We're looking for a rare purple gooberflower," explained Metro Man, putting his vast knowledge of tropical flora to work.
"Aha, I know JUST what flower you speak of!" exclaimed the equally plant-nerdy Krazy Karl.
The three began their hunt of the elusive flower.
As they proceeded on the gooberflower hunt, Krazy Karl proceeded to dazzle Metro Man and Smiley Sam with his abundant knowledge of Poufy Flowers...
While Smiley Sam's great gastrointestinal knowledge came in handy in the Hall of Herbs.
Suddenly (as in all superhero adventures, nothing is every this easy...), they encountered what would be the trickiest of tricksy booby traps. The Concrete Column (CC).
"How do we get past it?" they wondered.
Smiley Sam quickly put her kiddie gymnastics experience to work. "Maybe the Ya Ya Hi-ya move will work!"
Alac and alas, the CC stood unaffected by her great flexibility and Gumby prowess.
"Oh, here, I'll do it. Get out of the way!" Krazy Karl shoved Smiley Sam off the CC.
As Smiley Sam nursed her perky yet bruised gluteus maximus, Krazy Karl's attempts at conquering the CC were also proving futile.
"HERE, I'LL do it," cried Metro Man in exasperation.
Metro Man made quick work of the CC using his Belly Flop skills and the trio moved on.
They continued the hunt and passed some of the rarest flowers in the world.
'Hmm,' thought Metro Man, 'That pink one would go great with my silver shirt..."
Metro Man seemed distracted, but Smiley Sam seemed even more prone to losing sight of their goal...
'I wonder if I could make matching corsages and boutonnieres for prom...'
Until...
Swept off her feet by an unusually dashing man of straw, Sam was rendered useless due to Hearts in the Eyes Syndrome.
Disheartened but determined, Krazy Karl and Metro Man continued the hunt...
Metro Man sniffed...no, not a gooberflower...
At last, Metro Man spotted the Evil Arachnid poised high above them in her evil lair (can lairs be evil?). This HAD to be a sign of the gooberflower's presence nearby.
In a brave attempt to avoid the Evil Arachnid's poisonous fangs, Metro Man sacrficed his perfect coif and dove into the Raging River.
He cautiously made his way past the lounging Prickly Pear Poisson...
...and finally, Metro Man arrived at the Northern Bank.
'Hmm, having wet clothes really sets off my muscle tone,' he thought as he stole quietly towards the gooberflower plantation.
The rare purple gooberflower was in his sights...
"Aha! I've found you at last, you rarest of purple flowers!" exclaimed Metro Man triumphantly.
He could now use the purple gooberflower to mix up his special Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince Purple dye, in order to salvage the ghastly white outfit sported by the FD. Tie-dye would be back in style again. Another fashion disaster had been averted thanks to Metro Man's quick thinking and discerning eye for fashionable colours.
After rescuing Smiley Sam and Krazy Karl from the Deserts of Distraction, they celebrated by doing the Airplane Dance and headed home.
Back in his IKEA-fied bedroom, Metro Man took some time to reflect on the day.
'Tortham is safe once again,' thought Metro Man as he pulled his silk eye mask over his sleepy eyes. 'Another one in the bag.'
And he drifted off to sleep.
The END!
**thistookmuchtoolongandsoundsbetterwhenNaomiwritesitanyway!
No comments:
Post a Comment