Things not to say to a breastfeeding woman

It figures that the day after I write a post about breastfeeding, that I would get one of the comments that still makes me unsure of my breastfeeding success.  I had just finished feeding Kiyomi, and passed her off to my friend.  He was holding her a while, and noticed that she started to suck on her fingers.  I know Kiyomi, and this is her self-soothing thing.  Anyway, he decided to give me a "you're a bad mother" look, and said that Kiyomi was obviously (really, though?  OBVIOUSLY?) still hungry.

And then.

You know what he said?

"You don't have enough."  And he pointed at my chest.

Seriously?  I'm still pulling the dagger out of my chest, thanks.

If he had said that to me 2 months ago, I'm sure I would have broken down in tears and cried in the corner for half an hour.  Today, I brushed it off, but it really made me think about how insensitive people can be about breastfeeding.

Never ever ever ever assume or vocalize something like this unless you are in a position to do so (you know, if you're a caring sister/mother/grandmother/lactation consultant), who is really looking out for the best interest of the breastfeeding woman.  And, I think, be especially careful about your comments/questions if you're a guy, or have never breastfed. 

Another thing that used to put me on the defensive was when people would ask whether I had enough breastmilk.  I'm not talking about other caring mothers who were trying to encourage me through the ordeal.  I'm talking your normal, everyday, never-breastfed-a-moment-in-their-life bystander.  Uh, it's none of your business, thanks.  And you asking me whether I have enough milk just makes me doubt whether I have enough.

It's funny that I now love breastfeeding (gasp, did I just say that?!), but being asked about my breastmilk production still shakes my confidence a bit.  Sigh.

These types of comments and questions are entirely different when you're asking them out of a place of love, and a desire to help the breastfeeding woman.  But really, I've had enough of these insensitive comments.

They may have meant well, but I want you to know, it didn't help.