Breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I have ever had to learn! The first thing I discovered was an uncontrollable urge to punch anyone who said, "If you're doing it correctly, it shouldn't hurt." Hah. I get what they're saying, in terms of proper positioning, etc., but this is definitely AFTER your nipples stop being super-sensitive to the strong suction-force of your newborn. The second thing I discovered was a weird okay-ness with random healthcare professionals touching my boobs. They really just get in there and poke and squeeze!
We did skin-on-skin pretty much immediately after Kiyomi was born, and the nurse helped me to get her latched. In the beginning, Kiyomi had a terribly small latch, but the lactation consultant taught me to push her shoulders in as she opened her mouth, while kind of hooking her lower jaw around the lower part of my nipple. That way, she opened her mouth really wide. Ha, but this took a lot of practice, and I used to take her on and off my breast a few times until she got it right.
Kiyomi had good sucking muscles (I had seen her previously practicing during an ultrasound) and went for it. I knew there was colostrum coming out, but she wasn't getting enough at the beginning, and she ended up becoming quite jaundiced and losing almost a pound in weight over the first few days. We had to take her in a few times to get her bilirubin levels tested and started supplementing with formula. The thing with jaundice is that it makes your newborn quite lethargic, so Kiyomi was constantly falling asleep while feeding. It was taking me 2 hours at the beginning to get through a feeding, which is crazy, considering you're supposed to start the next feeding 2 hours after the previous one! I ended up constantly having her attached to my boob, my nipples were cracking and bleeding, and I was in a general state of exhaustion. I didn't think it was going to get better and needed multiple support people to keep reassuring me that it would, indeed, get better.
I was at the breastfeeding clinic at least once a week until Kiyomi was three weeks old, and one of the first things they did was to get me to use feeding tubes to give Kiyomi her formula. Basically, you have a thin tube that you tape to your boob so that the end of it is right beside your nipple. The formula is pushed through the feeding tube, so that as the baby feeds and sucks on the nipple, she gets your milk, as well as the formula. This is really good in increasing breastmilk quantity, but is so hard on the parents who have to clean and set everything up. Kevin rubbed my back during this period, and I asked him why his hands were so rough. He looked at me sadly, and said that it was because of all the dishes and washing he was doing. Those feeding tubes! Aie!
I also did the 24-hour cure, eventually, which increased my breastmilk supply some more, and by week three, we had "graduated" from the clinic and didn't have to go back! I definitely would have given up breastfeeding had it not been for the support I got at the breastfeeding clinic. There were many times I cried.
Nowadays, I almost hesitate to say this...but I love the time I have with Kiyomi breastfeeding! She feeds quickly, and my nipples are immune to her occasional tugging and pulling. I know this process will repeat itself when we decide to have our second child, so I'm glad I have these victories to look back on!
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