Let me be perfectly honest from the beginning (as if I'm not honest on this blog!) and say that I think feminism is dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. I refer mostly to the equality issue. I definitely think men and women should have the same rights, but my issue is really with the fact that some women try to be men. We're just not men, and that's a biological fact. It's not about equality in some cases, it's about equity. The porblem is that in the workforce, for example, women are starting to compete with men at BEING men, and not just at the job. If a woman wants to be a pilot, awesome, but she should compete with men in being a pilot, not in being a male pilot! I think over the years, the gender roles have overlapped more and more, and I think it's hard for guys to be guys, and girls to be girls. Ahahaa, don't read anymore if you're going to be upset at my traditional gender role views. But I do welcome comments and feedback.
Anyway, I've been thinking about this lately because frankly, I've realized that I really appreciate gentlemen. I appreciate guys who initiate things, like plans, conversations, whatever. I appreciate it when guys hold open doors, when they do protective things like walking on the side of the street closer to the cars. I appreciate when guys are assured enough with themselves that they can do these things. Albeit, women haven't helped much to make gentlemen these days, as there's probably a fear about us biting men's heads off for treating us like helpless women. The truth is, I really don't think guys view us as really that helpless nowadays, and well, frankly, if you wanna carry my big heavy box for me, thanks! I have puny muscles. Maybe some guys do too, but probably not punier than me. Anyway, muscles are not my point. My point is that I think guys need to stop being afraid of being wimps. They need to initiate things.
Case in point: Relationships. I was reading a really ridiculous book on dating that we were thinking of lending to the HS kids at my church, and it got me thinking. Guys should initiate. Guys should initiate talking about boundaries in a relationship. Guys should initiate the relationship in the first place. I think what I've appreciated the past couple of years is men in my life who have initiated conversations with me about our relationship. Yes, the relationship-defining talk (the RDT, ahahah). We all know that tense point we all get to in friendships where suddenly, you're unsure whether you're just friends or not. The easy thing is to just let it go, for fear of causing weirdness. Sometimes, though, people will let it go because they're afraid of rejection, and frankly, it's easier to reap the benefits of a flirty friendship than to put your pride on the line to lay it all out. I'm so thankful that most of the men I know are willing to do it, willing to lay it on the line instead of stringing the girl along on some wild emotional ride (because that's what it becomes to girls...we're emotional!) where we debate whether he likes us or whether he doesn't, or how much he does, etc. Intimacy should match commitment, and I love it when a guy is willing not to be more intimate emotionally or physically with a girl until there is a definite commitment. Otherwise, you set yourself up for heartbreak. Flirting is bad bad bad! Anyway, I think nowadays, it's become the norm for guys to just sit back and let these women who have all this newly discovered power do the initiating, which is not such a good thing, in my opinion. I think the blame goes both ways though. The more manly the man, the easier it is for the woman to be a woman, and the more womanly a woman, the easier it is for men to be men.
I think it's important for us to figure out our roles as men and women, because I think there are Biblical roles for a man and woman in a marriage, and relationships before marriage are really like training grounds for it. In Ephesians 5, it talks about the roles of a husband and a wife. So many people take this verse out of context, and it drive me insane. I think it's the most romantic thing ever. It says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." I used to hate this verse, and I used to think submission to a man was horrible. I truly did. But if you read on, things become clearer.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
First, what I discovered was that submission is not a weak thing. This verse doesn't mean, "Women, do whatever your husband tells you to do." Have you ever tried to submit to someone? It's tough. You really have to respect the person you're submitting to. And that's the wonderful thing. My friend once said something along the lines of, "I don't think my wife will have any problems submitting to me, because I hope to be the kind of husband that she respects and who honours her above myself." I don't think I'll have any problems at all submitting, if my husband loves me as Christ loved the church! That's really a sacrificial, honouring type of love. I mean, Christ loved the church (us!) so much, that He gave up His life for it! That's love! And that's the type of love husbands are called to have for their wives. Really and truly, I once hated the thought of submission to my husband, but now, I'm looking forward to it with all my heart. (note: submission to husbands is based on their wisdom in leading as God wills)
So that was a long one, but I get going when something gets me. So really, women, will you just let the guys initiate, and men, will you just initiate!?
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